


Outside looking in

by madasahatter29



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, F/M, Light Angst, Love Triangle, Sort Of, i need an oikawa in my life pls God, oikawa being a precious angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26883160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madasahatter29/pseuds/madasahatter29
Summary: You were always looking at Iwaizumi.And Oikawa at the young age of 12, experienced his first heartbreak when he realized that little fact.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	Outside looking in

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should be updating Checkmate but I’m just having an Oikawa-fever because Asuma Kousuke (Oikawa’s stage actor) replied back to my IG story whohooo and im also feeling a bit Angsty at the moment so I couldn’t resist not writing this lolol. Enjoy!
> 
> Its 2 am and I have work tomorrow so sorry for any misspelling or mistakes!

The three of you grew up together, being neighbors and all. At first, it was just Tooru and Hajime, the two runts who always run around chasing bugs. It changed when one day they saw some trucks and too many boxes at the front of the supposedly vacant house next door at Oikawa’s.

The two shrugged it off and immediately proceeded to trek the path to a little greenery next to the park with their little nets.

It wasn’t until two days after that Oikawa’s mother called for him and introduced a lady with a nice smile _‘They’re our new neighbors, Tooru. Say hi’._ If your mother did not prompt you to do the same greeting, Oikawa wouldn’t have known that you were there. You, a tiny little thing with _too_ big eyes peeking from your mom’s legs. _‘She’s too shy for her own good’_ you mom would explain. But Tooru didn’t think about that. He just looks at you and wonders, if what he heard was true, and girls have cooties then why his new neighbor _pretty._

You had met Iwaizumi later the same day. Oikawa would learn as heard his best friend saying how little you are while passing the ball to him at their daily hangouts later that afternoon _(its no longer called ‘playtime’ since they’re already seven and a half!)_ and Oikawa couldn’t help but nod his head in agreement.

You did not become close, at least not immediately. You saw each other in the school, Oikawa and Iwaizumi immediately recognized you when the teacher introduced you in front but other than eyes of recognition, they did not bother to go out of their way to befriend you. _You’re a girl after all_ and even though Oikawa thinks you’re pretty, you still have _cooties._

It isn’t until you were bored and saw them playing outside that you realized how lonely you were. They must’ve saw the longing in your eyes because in the next second, they had invited you to play and from then on, the two became three and had been inseparable since.

It was five years later that things became complicated, at least for him. Puberty is a strange thing after all.

Oikawa always had a little crush on you, Iwaizumi too from what he confessed to him in secrecy back when they thought liking a girl would result at being cursed and burned at a stake but it was a fleeting conversation and they only talked about it once, the topic never came up again. Iwaizumi had gotten over his silly little childhood crush but as Oikawa saw you running over to them with your _too_ short _jesus were you trying to kill him_ skirt, Oikawa thinks he hasn’t.

Oikawa has always been an observant person. More so than what people give him credit for. May it be in his everyday social life or in sport that he loved so it wasn’t really a surprise that he was the first to notice your oddities.

Just as he was experiencing new things with puberty, you were also in the same boat. He noticed how you had become more conscious of your words, _trying to speak more softl_ y. How you would be more mindful of your actions, _seating more ladylike_ and how you would blush more often whenever his best friend would smile at you. It wasn’t that you were obvious of your actions, its just that Oikawa has sharp eyes and he saw as he heard Iwaizumi tells a story about how one of his classmate got detention this morning that you were looking at his best friend as if he hung the moon and stars.

Oikawa knows that it wasn’t the first time either, and he realizes that _you had always been looking at Iwaizumi._

He felt his chest constrict after that.

Oikawa mentally shook his head, _must be puberty._

* * *

High school came and he still shrug off a nagging thought at the back of his mind. Sweeping it off under a rug every time it would came up.

Oikawa mentally steeled himself in resolution just as what he’s been doing for years, that he really doesn’t care as he saw you smile prettily at Iwaizumi.

Just because he had liked you since he was seven _(and a half!)_ and has been jealous on one too many occasions _( **now** , being a prime example)_ doesn’t mean he’s in love with you.

Oikawa mentally snorted at the thought as he felt his chest tighten and saw the color green when your cheeks bloom a pretty shade of red as his best friend laughed at something you said.

He really isn’t in love with you.

_Right?_

* * *

You had always been **pretty,** ridiculously so. Growing up Oikawa had to mask the annoyance from seeing one too many eyes and far too many heads lingering and following your every move. You were all smiles and laugh as you innocently retells one of the funny skits you saw on TV last night to him and Iwaizumi at lunch, never noticing the looks nor dreamy sighs from the people around you, men specially _(those vile creatures!)_ Oikawa would think. But just because you don’t doesn’t mean he doesn’t.

Oikawa thought you had been too sheltered. Being an only child, your parents are naturally protective of you, it’s just his luck that your parents allowed him, and Iwa to play with you that one particular day when they saw you watching them play volleyball with a sad look on your little eyes.

Oikawa thought you were too sheltered, too innocent that you never saw the longing looks that people give to you, his included.

He then later on will realize that it isn’t because of your upbringing nor your natural innocence that you never saw the eyes, nor hear the hopeful words. it’s just that you never got to, because you were too busy listening on somebody else’s words, too busy looking at Iwaizumi.

And, Oikawa experienced his first real heartbreak when you told him with a shy smile and pretty blush one afternoon

“I think I like Hajime”

He tried to be playful, tried to mask the hurt. “I like him too, that’s why we’re all friends!” he tried to laugh as he normally would but it never reached his eyes, _not as if you would noticed though,_ Oikawa thinks bitterly, _of course not since you’re only looking at Iwa-chan._

“No, I like him like, romantically”

Even though he knew, even though he had been eased into it morbidly from years of seeing your looks on his best friend, it still did not lessen the blow of the pain in his chest.

Especially when you told him that, you will confess in hopes of becoming his girlfriend.

Oikawa just smiled sadly, _ah, what he would give to be Iwaizumi Hajime right now._

* * *

_You were looking at him now._

It isn’t to say that it’s a good thing though. Not in the way, he always hoped.

You’re eyes are all red and puffy from hours of crying, it didn’t held the loving gaze you always had whenever you’re looking at Iwaizumi and in its place is a painful look of a heartbreak. Nose and cheeks are red from the earlier session and from one too many vodkas you had downed.

Oikawa gulped a mouthful and set down his own drink.

That day back in high school did not end in a happy note.

You had proceeded and confessed to Iwaizumi just as you said and he gently turned you down.

_‘I’m sorry, but you are like a sister to me. I don’t want to lose you, you’re one of my best friends but I don’t want to give you false hope either’_

In his defense, Iwaizumi looked like it genuinely pained him to reject you. It wasn’t his fault though, you knew that he doesn’t feel the same, that his looks and touches were too platonic to mean anything else but you had just hoped that there might be even a tiny bit of chance.

After that, you did not talked to either of them for weeks.

It did not even gave Oikawa any satisfaction after knowing that you wouldn’t be with someone else because it pained him seeing you hurt. This is what it means to love he guess.

Iwaizumi gave you space, Oikawa too but he didn’t last as long as his best friend. He has been too worried and after a week he immediately rang your house and asked for your mom to let him in. you were surprised when you saw him in your room but it immediately morphed into anger, telling him to get out shouting profanities at him. Then anger turned into sadness and finally you just let the mask fall and cry on his shoulder. He was immediately there to sooth your back and brush your hair.

He did not tell you that things will be fine because in his personal experience it never did. He was just there, offering his arms and shoulders and for you it was enough.

You had got out of it a few months later and true to his words, Iwaizumi really did not want to lose you despite what happened.

Things immediately got back to normal and the confession never came up again.

“How do you do it Tooru?” Your eyes seems to flick with a little ember behind that hazel ocean. A tiny flame in the midst of an abyss.

“How do you bounce back so easily after every heartbreak?”

It wasn’t exactly _easy_ , Oikawa thought sadly. Your question had been said in an almost desperate tone, he couldn’t blame you though as he reflexively looked at the invitation at the table on his side, the reason why he’s back home in Japan.

Iwaizumi Hajime is getting married after all.

“How do you move on so easily? You always look the same as if you had never been hurt?”

_Oh if you only know how wrong you are._

His ex-girlfriends would argue otherwise either. _‘I’ve seen the way you look at her’ ‘i know she’s the one you want’ ‘You’re a cruel man, Oikawa. Instead of telling her, you would rather find someone to distract you’ ‘you’re a coward’_

You said he _always_ look the same, he wondered, _does he really?_ He guess it’s because of years of practice. Layers and layers of mask that had blurred somewhere along the lines and had slowly latched onto his skin. It just became so easy, so natural to him.

He guess the reason why you never saw any different is that he has been hurting since the first time he realized you only have eyes for someone else. _Well, you’re bound to be familiar to a facade when you had been looking at it for the past decade and a half,_ he mused.

“I don’t know” he shrugged, answering your question “I guess I just tried to be optimistic and think there’s plenty of fishes in the sea”

_What a load of bullshit._

The words coming from his mouth isn’t all lies though, there really are plenty of fishes in the sea and its so easy especially for Oikawa who has flocks of girls following him every day to just close his eyes and randomly pick one. Even after moving to Argentina, he had actually hoped to finally move on from you and find someone he can finally fall in love with who isn’t looking at his best friend. There’s plenty of fishes after all, but even years after, they aren’t the one he want.

* * *

Oikawa knows you’re hurting.

He isn’t delusional enough to think that your drinking session 5 days ago would magically remove years of feelings for Iwaizumi.

It must’ve hurt being the maid of honor at the wedding of the man you love, witnessing as he kisses his fiancé- ‘ _you may now kiss the bride’_ – _oops_ **wife,** just as it kills Oikawa to see that you never really got over Iwaizumi despite saying otherwise to the man years ago.

The people hollers, clapped and cried in happiness. Oikawa saw a lone tear escaped your still too wide eyes and he knows it isn’t entirely in happiness, your sad smile was the telltale sign.

He subtly took your hand in his without looking at you. He saw you in his peripheral vision look at him and he just wordlessly squeezed your hand, after a while you mutely squeezed back, _a silent thank you_. He guess, being the best man might have its perks, after all he gets to be beside you and act as your pillar throughout the whole ordeal.

And even though it pains him to see you this way, Oikawa is just glad that he’s here to offer up a shoulder just like those years ago.

“He looks so happy”

You smiled genuinely albeit a little sadly while looking at the dancing newlyweds.

 _Ah, of course_ , Oikawa realizes. It’s because you were always looking at Iwaizumi.

You absentmindedly played with the bouquet of flowers on your hand, the one you coincidently got when the bride tossed it up earlier. Life really is funny sometimes.

You’re sad, there’s no doubt about that. But for the first time in years, Oikawa heard something different in your tone, something new, something that indicates that you are finally exhaustingly resigning, that you are finally letting go.

_You were always looking at Iwaizumi._

Oikawa just looks at you and smile wistfully. He wanted nothing more than just for you to be happy.

_But what you didn’t know was that Oikawa was always looking at you._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this!  
> *Edit* might as well add some things that you guys might have missed.
> 
> -You finally give up on Iwa-chan, now that you're no longer looking at the man who knows what you might see *cough* pretty setter *cough*  
> -getting the tossed bouquet is a foreshadowing *wink* *wink*
> 
> Daz all, also let me know if u guys like this and if i should write more one shots lol


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